Blog 17: The Stoic Rescuing Holding Back Defense Sub-type Description

This Holding Back Defense sub-type shows up mostly in men, although recently more women are appearing in my office with this type. It gets its name from the old-time movie cowboy heroes with the white hats who ride to the rescue of those in distress, especially those who are being maligned by the bad guys in the black hats. The function of this defense is to be a hero in order to prove your worthiness. You emulate these cowboy looking men and women with your thin, trim, strong body with very broad shoulders. Think of John Wayne and the broad shouldered cowboys of the old-time silver screen movies here. Or, think of the Lone Ranger who rode alone with his Indian side-kick, Tonto, to save those in distress and right the wrongs being done to them. He wears a mask to keep his identity secret and this is very much a trait that you have adopted—that is to keep your thoughts and feelings private. Your broad shoulders developed energetically from your decision to be self-reliant and take on extra responsibility at a very young age, for example, in trying rescue, protect, and take care of your needy mother/father. Or, you embarked other rescue missions of one sort or another such a ‘community-do-good-for-others’ campaign, for example.. Your heartbreak comes from feeling that you could not measure up to the expectations of your same sex caretaker which he/she set impossibly high. This trying to measure up and feeling that you were a failure in doing so was heartbreaking for you but you were unwilling to give up trying to measure up. Thus, you spent most of your time as a child trying to prove yourself in order to gain the rejecting caretaker’s approval. Another important characteristic is your soft voice, which developed as a result of trying to keep a low profile in order to avoid more rejection.